Here’s wishing you a safe and uneventful Friday the 13th, outside of discovering new beers to try, that is. That’s the type of event I can really get behind.
But in the interest of avoiding bad luck, or at least bad luck that, thanks to a movie franchise, has become synonymous with this date, we offer some tips below that you might find helpful.
Here are 5 tips you can follow in order to enjoy a relatively safe Friday the 13th:
- No getting naked or having sex in a remote cabin in the woods (at least not this particular Friday) – to be safe, it’s best to not even strip down to your underwear at any point during the day.
- Do not go skinny dipping by yourself after midnight, especially if you’re staying at Crystal Lake. Just to be sure, avoid water on this day. Hell, I’d even avoid showering on this day, especially at that odd highway motel. And, speaking of water, avoid beers like Coors Like, because it is like making love in a canoe, after all.
- That strange noise you heard outside? Yeah, don’t be heading outside to see what that is, telling your friends that you’ll be right back. You won’t be right back. Trust me. Nobody ever comes right back. Except, perhaps as the body-less head someone stumbles upon later in the film.
- Speaking of odd noises, DO attend to any music you might hear in the background. Especially the Harry Manfredini Jason Voorhees theme track. Don’t pause the identify where the music is from. Just run. To be absolutely sure, if you hear Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells (from the Exorcist) or even the Jaws Theme, get the hell out of there.
- Friends don’t let friends drink non-craft beer, unless the situation is completely and utterly unavoidable. But even then, always keep a stash of locally brewed or micro-brew beers on hand in case you need to help them recover from that temporary lapse in judgement, or, in the shocking case in many establishments, the lack of choice they were forced into. (Yes, it does happen to even the best of us)
Below is a list of 13 beers I have enjoyed over the past few years that have a slightly darker, eerie or more “horror” based name or theme to them. (Thanks to tracking on Untappd I can easily find these)
- Dawn of the Red – Ninkasi Brewing Company
- Vlad the Imp Aler – Cascade Brewing Company
- Nightmare Pumpkin Ale (Formerly called A Nightmare on Mill Street) – Mill Street Brewery
- Shapeshifter – Halo Brewery
- Voodoo Ranger 8 Hop IPA – New Belgium Brewing Company
- Helter Smelter – Stack Brewing
- Wicked Wench – Forked River Brewing Company
- Ghost – 3 Stars Brewing Company
- Goseface Killah – Good Robot Brewing Company
- Bewitched Belgian IPA – Wellington Brewery
- Executioner’s Ale – Grand River Brewing
- Ghost Train IPA – Junction Craft Brewing
- Apparition Amber Ale – The Brewerie at Union Station (Pennsylvania)
Further interesting reads for today that you might enjoy:
- “Bad Luck in Booze in Honor of Friday the 13th” by Emily Bell on VinePair.com
- “Pairing 10 Craft Beers with 10 Iconic Horror Movies” by Jim Vorel on PasteMagazine.com
- “The 5 Best PA Beers to Celebrate Friday the 13th” from Breweries in Pennsylvania
- “Thirteen Best Horror, Fantasy & Sci-Fi Beers for Halloween” by Samurai Artist at Newschoolbeer.com
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